I can’t tell if I “should” be OK or if I “should” be struggling this year. At what point do you have to stop the “giving yourself permission to not be ok” because of changes?
I started a new job in Jan, struggled severely with my health in Feb & March, quit my job in April, started a new job two weeks later (still in April).
I started a second job in May, worked stupid hours for a few weeks, am currently full time at the “second” job because of unexpected staff changes, and I’m hanging out to cut down my long commuting and go back to the more local job.
Is that “too much”? What is too much?
It’s halfway through June as I feel as unsettled as I did at the start of the year with a new job. Because of changes. Constant changes.
I am so fucking sick of changes. I am so tired. I am tired of commuting. I am tired of not having a stable income.
I am tired of new opportunities – as crazy as that sounds. My goal for this year was a quiet, stable year. It has been anything but. And I am plain tired out.
I am tired of Ben’s doctors putting off diagnosing him. Of public waiting lists. When you’re undiagnosed you don’t get recognised for assistance, as a carer, for anything. You’re “normal”, only you’re not, because everyone acknowledges there is something wrong, but no one can tell you what.
I’m tired of responsibility. I’m tired of being an adult.
I’m just tired.
At what point is change my normal, and therefore I should be ok with it?
At what point can I take a few months off, sleep and be entirely fucking selfish and work only on what I want to work on, and travel and get back to enjoying life rather than dealing with changes?
Subscribe to the NormalNess Newsletter here.
Big huge gigantic hugs. Constant change is a tough gig. I truly hope for your sake it is not your new normal but a season of life. I am thinking if you hon and hoping for a diagnosis asap as that would be a first step towards finding a new normal I guess (with support!!!) xxx
Oh wow – you have so much going on. I’m worse with small changes than big changes but they can bloody sneak up on you.
If you can’t take a break make sure you rest up during any time off you have. And I think you mentioned on FB / Twitter the other day that you were sick. Don’t push yourself too much and make yourself worse will you?
I hope things settle down soon.
Deb
I’m hearing you. To be honest, I love change but if change is happening as frequently as it is to you and it’s not ‘good’ change, well yes, I can see how that would be extremely stressful and unsettling. Best wishes to you and I hope you get the break you need soon. x
With everything you’ve been through this year you certainly have the right to feel unsettled and that it’s all too much. I’d be a wreck. I wish I had some startling advice for you that would change it all in a blink of an eye, but I don’t. Hope things start to settle soon for you. Hugs. x
Change in moderation is good, great even, but too much constant change is just exhausting. I hope you can find some stability soon and can let yourself relax.
Oh my Gosh, that is a lot of change and it definitely takes its toll. Starting a new job is STRESSFUL and you’ve done it a few times now. No wonder you’re feeling exhausted. I hope you get a chance to take a week off sometime soon ?? #teamIBOT
Thinking of you Toni. Change does suck so much energy. I hope you come out the other side into stability soon. The only thing I’d say is to try to flow with the change because fighting can be even more exhausting.
I’m so sorry. Just pressed send and realised I called you Toni instead of Vanessa – don’t know where that came from.
I think that anyone dealing with that kind of pressure is going to feel exhausted and over it. You’ve been through so much already this year – I hope that the second half settles down for you x
I’m sorry the year hasn’t gone how you hoped. I knew that stuff had been going on, but I didn’t realise it had been so tough.
I hope you get some peace soon, in all the ways that you need it. xx
I hear you. I know change can be a good thing – but there are times when it comes at you all at once and it is not at all good. I hope you get some peace in your life soon. And it sounds like you need a rest as well x